the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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