What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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