Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
