You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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