I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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