If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
