Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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