Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
