your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
