So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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