I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
