16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
