this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
