If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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