the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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