please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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