I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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