I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
