Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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