Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
