I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
