It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
