Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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