Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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