The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
