Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
