My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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