What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
