I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize