I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
