It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he thought i was a dude.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
