Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
