you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
