so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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