I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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