Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
