you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Randomize
