yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
