OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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