It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
