It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
