this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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