i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
high people should be assigned attendants
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
