my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
