Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
