a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it glows. i had to have it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
