Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
