I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
