we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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