Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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