Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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