i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
