I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
