will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
