It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
