why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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