O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
