i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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