Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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