This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize