3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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