someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
